Current Life

Happy Hump Day!!!!!!

I got up and went to an AM spinning class, being active feels so good and keeps any stress and depression away. It was very obvious that I hadn’t taken a spin class in awhile……I wanted to die. 

I went at about 75% of my max and was still dead at the end

Need to get my butt to spin class more often. 

Stopped at the store to pickup a prescription and grabbed some much needed broke people food

Actually I just like to have stock on hand for when a craving hits or I don’t feel too good. I’m not broke yet thankfully.

Lots of laundry going on

A short but powerful thunderstorm hit and the puppies freaked out. I got some cuddles

I had great (but unhealthy) leftovers for lunch

My man took me out for a sorry you got fired, but yay you can sleep in dinner hahahaha!!! I love Mexican food. 

My first Ipsy bag

A few weeks ago I ran out of mascara and went to go shopping for a new one. It had been so long since I had bought a new mascara that I forgot how expensive it is! Why would I pay $10 for a single mascara when I could pay the same for a whole bag of samples? With that thought in mind I signed up for Ipsy.

Cute bag

Its a greenishy blue color. My nail painting leaves something to be desired lol. Hopefully painting them will help me stop biting them again

I’m excited to try this out. 

Looks fancy!!! I’m probably going to poke my eye out but I’m excited to try it!

I love to try a new lip color!!!!!

And yay! Mascara!!!!

Can’t wait to see what comes next month!!

I’ll do an update in a week or two and let you know how I like the products. 

Since I’ve been gone

So last week and the beginning of this week were rough for me. I have battled depression and mood highs and lows since i was 16. I have seen therapists and physiologists. I have been a bindge drinker, bindge eater and cutter. Thankfully after my dad died my mom and brother found me a great Dr who didn’t just prescribe meds but took the time to work through my, at the time current, issues and teach me tools to pull myself out of that dark place when i went there. He knew it would be a lifelong battle for me and probably saved my life. Before him i was headed down a bad path. I have never been and will never be ashamed of past or of the fact that i deal with this. Feeling the extreme lows also means I get to feel the extreme highs, I get to love deeper and more often then most people becuase I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Yes it can be difficult and painful but it can also be joyous and wonderous. I will have an adventure filled life, the battle is simply to do it on a healthy way which is why i am so passionate about eating healthy and being active. 

That being said lets catch up. 

My sweet coworker got me flowers and candy to cheer me up om the anniversary of my dads death


Friday Artemis and I got up with the sun and went for the shortest run ever lol

I wasnt super happy about getting out of bed lol

Friday night we went to the vet, Artemis had to get her shots. Shes up to date and protected now!

Then we relaxed to make sure she didnt have any reactions

Saturday we pretty much just relaxed and she slept a lot. Recovering from the shots

I caught this wonderful picture when she yawned

Saturday night/Sunday morning i hit rock bottom and took a nap after only being awake an hour then layed in bed and cried. I made myself get out of bed and go for a walk with Artemis 

We went 3 miles. And i reached out to family and friends to keep an eye on me for self-destructive behavior. 

After the walk i went grocery shopping and did meal prep

I love to cook so this helped my mood a lot. 

Each day i am climbing out of the dark. Today was a good day and i am almost back to normal! Thankfully these lows only happen 2-3 times a year depending on the year sometimes even less. 

Went for a walk with the roommate tonight 

And my cowoker finished a really interesting book and gave it to me to ready. Only on the 2md chapter and im hooked! Can’t wait to keeo reading

Thats it for me!!

If anyone ever suffers from suicidal thoughts or self-destructive behavior or severe depression please reach out to someone. You are not alone, i know it feels like you are, but you are not. 

Wednesday wonderings

Happy Hump Day!!!! 

Well my run at lunch didnt happen. I went to the bathroom to change and low and behold i had forgotten a sports bra, now I have DDs so a sports bra is a must. So there was a change of plan, i sat back down at my desk and proceeded to spill my lunch  (chili) on my pants. 

After eating i went out to my car, rolled my windows down, laid my seat back and listened to a book on tape for 30 min. It was soooo beautiful i didnt want to go back into work, but i did. Sometimes it sucks to be an adult lol. 

Anyways i came home and changed to go out for my 3rd attempt at a run today

It was perfect weather outside

There is a nice little path not too far from my house

Check out all the cookies in my cookies and creme protien powder

Then it was dinner time, i am in between paychecks so that means im broke and living off leftovers and things i already had in the freezer/pantry. Tonight was a feeezer meal

Fish fillets and onion rings. 

Tomorrows lunch is leftover turkey and veggie stew that i froze a few months ago. Thankfully i made a vat of it lol. 

While dinner was cooking and after i got some chores done around the house so i am going to fall asleep tonight feelijg very accomplished lol

How was your Wednesday?

Does anyone else scrape by with odds and ends to eat until payday?

My Love and Hate for Autumn

I used to only love Autumn but now i am seeing the dark side, and i mean literally the dark side.

I woke up at 5:40 to get my butt out the door to run at 6am and it was still dark out, like fully dark.

4133495284_990423a6b9_z

This is not a picture of where i live but you get the gist.

While running in the cool dark would be amazing, doing it alone, especailly as a female is scary. If i had someone to run with it would be awesome and do able, i would just bring a light but alone i feel like i am more likely to get run over or kidnapped or murdered.

download

So i went back to sleep and brought my workout clothes to go for a run at work because on the plus side of Autumn the day will be cool enough for me to run at lunch.

Now that we have gotten the bad part of Autumn and Winter for that matter out of the way, here are some of my favorites.

pumpkin-spice-everything

Yep, i am a pumpkin spice latte junkie!

ladies-ethical-clothes-for-autumn

The great clothes and accesories.

What are some of your favorite and least favorite things about Autumn?

Weekend Road trip!

Starbucks is a must

A little stop at a wildlife safari

Some of the animals get sooooo close

Our hotel room was pretty nice

It was one of thise extended stay marriot kind of places

In ‘n’ Out! I introduced in n out to someone, my life mission is complete lol

We also hit a winery and got some AMAZING pear wine

A little ice cream and chocolate stop in Ashland and we headed back home. 

It was a really fun low key road trip weekend. I look forward to the next one, I’m thinking the coast in a month or 2 when its nice and stormy. 

Monday came way too soon. 

How was your weekend?

Shake it out Wednesday 

I am trying to reset my gut with a con cleans, probiotics and healthier food.

After work I went home and puttered around the house a bit then headed out for a super short run to shake my legs out after the hike and not running last week since I didn’t feel good. 

Running hurt, my calves and lower back were really sore but totally felt good to run. 

Have you ever done a colon cleanse?

Marmot pass Day 2

Even though I didn’t sleep very well I woke up to the cutest face ever!

I can’t get over how flipping adorable she is!

After the freezing night we woke up to frost on the ground

Artemis in her little sweater

We had a great view!

After some breakfast we packed up and were on our way!

We were tired so we rocketed back to the car. Plus going down is faster than going up so it took us about 1/2-2/3 the amount of time to get back to the car. 

On the way back Artemis got bit on the butt by a bug, poor thing, I gave her 1/2 a benadryl and that took care of any swelling and she is fine now. I got stung by a yellow jacket, my first sting in probably 20 years, good thing I’m not allergic!

I’ve never been so happy to be back in my car lol. The dogs passed out pretty fast. We stopped for McDonald’s and Starbucks and made the 5 hour trip back home. 

Monday was a lot of relaxing, we all dogs included, spent most of it on the couch but I managed to get some laundry done and a bit of unpacking and some grocery shopping done. 

How was your weekend?

Do you like the uphill or downhill better on a hike?

Marmot pass day 1

We were out the door by about 7:30 and hit McDonald’s for a high calorie breakfast. Both dogs were excited but unsure what was going on as well. 

The roommates little dog dog got too excited/nervous and barfed a little. So our start was cleaning

Then we were off on the 6 hours drive!

It took us about 5 hours to get to the area then another hour to go the 15 miles on dirt/gravel/pot whole road to the trailhead. 

And we are off!!!!

The first 3.5 miles of the trail were beautiful!!

Had nice rolling hills and crossed the water several times.

There were some interesting water crossings

Artemis was a little hesitant of the flowing water in the beginning then she got a little more comfortable 

We had some fun kookie moments

So after those nice 3.5 miles we took a little break, had some pop tarts and snacks, love trail food, and drank some water and Gatorade. Poor Carra got stung by a bee. Then we headed out to do another 3.5 miles to the top……except these 3.5 miles were straight up! 1500 feet in about 2.5 miles. 

I was pretty slow on the uphill so she would stop and wait for me to catch up. She is sooooo freaking cute and sweet!!! Or she would turn around and come find me. 

I was dying a little. 

I stopped and took a break about 1 mile from out stopping point because the direction milage was a little off and I was dying!!

These block got me through the last mile. 

She settled in behind me for a little rest behind me

We slugged it the last mile and settled in. 

Got our tent set up

Nice little view from out campsite 

Can you find Artemis?

Someone passed out really quickly 

We ate, listened to a little bit of a book on tape and tried to sleep

It was a loooong night. I finally dozed off around 9:30 then at 10:30 Artemis got up from our feet where she at been sleeping and bounded up toward me shaking. The poor thing was freezing. I got her halfway in my sleeping bag and cuddled up. She warmed up and I turned my sleeping bag into a blanket for us. She warmed up got comfy and fell asleep. But every hour or 2 either she would wake up and move around or part of my arm would go numb cause I was laying funky trying to keep her warm. Needless to say I didn’t sleep well. Of course once I was awake it took me another hour to fall back asleep. 

I got 4-5 hours of sleep. 

But overall it was a good day.