Trailing the blonde

Hello!

When I first started this blog I asked for help naming it. I believe it was my friend Aimee who came up with Trailing the Blonde. Now I need help coming up with a name for our “farm”. Well I call it a farm, its only a quarter acre right hahahaha but I want the name to be something that represents where we are now but will also be carried with us as we hopefully move to a large plot of land one day.

Comment with your ideas!! And feel free to ask questions about us and our “land” to come up with ideas.

I feel like the past 5 months have gone in leaps and jumps. In the beginning when I had such bad post partum depression and anxiety I looked forward to marking each day off the calendar because it meant I had made it and was one step closer to being done breastfeed and him being more independent and now suddenly I look at the calendar and I haven’t marked a day off in 3 days. The saying the days go slow and the years go fast is 100% true……though even some days go fast.

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This last month we moved the little guy to his crib in his room. He had definitely outgrown his bassinet and was waking up all turned around in there and even sideways with his head and feet pushing against the mesh. I had been doing at least one of his naps in his crib everyday so the transition was pretty smooth….for him…..for me it was a little rough. I slept in there on an air mattress for 2 days and could have totally stayed longer. It is so bittersweet to hit these milestones.

We have also just switched him from a swaddle to a sleep sack at night. He is close to rolling over so we started leaving one arm out of the swaddle to ease his transition. He also started getting out of the swaddle and waking himself up and half turning over in his sleep getting stuck so it was time. I ordered a Nested Bean sleep sack for him. It has a little pouch over the chest that has about 3-4oz of weight in it, just enough to mimic mamas hand comforting him. So far that has also gone off without a hitch….🤞🤞🤞🤞 during the day we still use the swaddle for now because we are awake and can keep an eye on him via the camera.

The 4-5 month time frame is a weird time. You are starting to to get a loose schedule but are fluctuating between the old time and new time. We are in between 3 and 4 naps. Some days we have 3 great naps and its all smooth sailing some days we have 4 and its a struggle. Some nights we do the dream feed then make it through till morning and some nights we still wake once or twice but we are getting there and most nights I get at least 7 total hours of sleep so its all good. Of course after I wrote this we had a rough night and 2 nights in a row I got less sleep lol.

We started solids!! Well purees. Right now its mostly about getting him used to eating and trying to feed himself but I can already see that his appetite has increased a bit and its so fun seeing him eat new things. As of right I am using store bought baby food because it takes him 2-3 days to get through 1 jar, but as he starts eating more and more I will start making more of his food. We were doing some at lunch and dinner but he was getting constipated so we only do lunch for now as his body gets used to it. We will try increasing again in a few weeks.

Some friends have offered us their old baby hiking backpack holder thing (that is the official name of it) we need to go pick it up so that we can start doing some hiking with him. I am super excited for that.

We are also in the middle of teething I do believe, so lots of cuddles and crying and waking during the night and extra sleep during the day. Another bittersweet milestone.

The garden is in full swing over here!!! What has been planted is poppin! And more is still to be planted.

This weekend I will be picking up a few more starts and I’ll show them to you on the next update.

I seriously cannot believe next week will be May? When did that happen!? But I am also loving the warmer days we are having mixed in with the chilly rainy days.

I have worked the last 2 Saturdays and work this Saturday…..these are the kinds of pictures I get while at work hahahaha

I had some fun at Hobby Lobby this week.

The garden is doing great! I am starting to include ‘what needs to be used out of the garden’ when I do my weekly meal planning

I’ll do a full garden update next week.

The chickens are getting big! And doing great.

Pulled out a beautiful hunk of beef from the freezer to use in meals this week

I am still keeping pretty much all dairy out of my diet and really limiting gluten and my little guys rash is clearing up pretty well. But I cannot wait to get back to some bread making. I am going to order a 1950s dehydrated sourdough starter off etsy soon that I am already drooling over.

I am working on slowly organizing each room in the house so the baby stuff all has its own space to be tucked away each night so it feels less messy, cluttered and chaotic. I’ll show you as i get it done.

Thats all for now!!

I cannot believe my baby is 4 months old!! We have settled into a pretty good routine. Of course they say once you get into a routine with your baby everything will change hahahahaha. He wakes up anywhere between 6:30-7:30am most mornings. Once we have a slightly more narrowed down wake time my goal will be to get up about 30-60 min before him to have some alone time to workout, shower and have some coffee. He currently take about 4 naps a day ranging anywhere from 20-110 min. The goal is for is last nap to end at about 5:30pm to give him a 7:30pm bedtime………the amount of days this actually happens are few and far between. Bedtime goal is simply between 7-8pm, any earlier and we are up waaaaay to early and any later and we are still up too early.

We are currently in the middle of a developmental leap meaning Robert is a little more fussy than normal but overall we are so lucky; he is such as easy baby. 4 months is also supposed to be the first of several sleep regressions during the first year of life. So far, the only issue is that he is waking up around 5am all cock-eyed in his bassinet so I have to get up, straighten him out and put him back to sleep which can take 5 min or 20 min. He is also becoming more and more aware of us being in the room which doesn’t help him go back to sleep. We have black out curtains coming for his room, once those go up we will start transitioning him to his crib in his own room.

I am excited about him going to his own room and also terrified. I am excited to have our room back and I think once we all adjust everyone will sleep better; and terrified because he wont be near me and it means he is growing up!!!!!! Very bittersweet.

We are also still dealing with some kind of reaction in the form of eczema and little red bumps. He is handling it really well but it still sucks.

He has his 4 month appt next week where he will get his second set of shots.

Worked on some yummy, healthy food this week that was dairy free and gluten free while we figure out what the baby is allergic to

The garden is doing great! We are getting things planted here and there between naps

The chickens are just over 3 weeks and getting big!!! I’m hoping to move them outside full time in about 2-3 weeks

Still working on figuring out the little mans skin stuff. We got him allergy tested and he didn’t react to anything so on to the next step. I am still going to cut dairy and most gluten to see if it helps.

We picked up fill dirt for the new planter he built me!!

Robert spend a few hours with grandma and grandpa while we got the dirt and then went out to an early birthday lunch for me.

Sadly the food was not awesome.

Our Easter wasn’t quite what we planned. All 3 of Robert’s cousins were sick so we skipped family easter. So instead we went out to lunch and hit Wilco to pick up some plants.

Robert tried out the new wagon his grandma got him so he can hang with us in the backyard while we do yard/farm work

On my actual birthday Robert and I just hung out while daddy worked. Daddy did get off work about 2 hours early though to hang with us. We went for a family walk and ordered takeout from the mexican restaurant on the corner. I got birthday snuggles from my original baby, snuggles from her like this are rare and totally non-existent since we brought the baby home.

Maybe she is finally forgiving me for bringing home a baby hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Robert has been dealing with an unknown allergy. He has bad eczema and little red bumps all over his body. Poor little guy. Hes handling it like a champ though. We had a consultation yesterday with an allergist and will be going back on Monday for an infant allergy test. The assumption is that its a food allergy, so once we find out what it is ill be cutting something out of my diet.

Overall it was a good week!!! Robert has been a bit fussier and sleepier but he is doing really well considering the circumstances. Also, he has started turning around completely in his bassinet at night…..not rolling over but like slowly all night wiggling his way around the bassinet. We put him in with his head facing one way and wake up with it facing the other so i think its time to start transitioning him to his crib.

I have dealt with depression before but never really had anxiety. Very quickly after getting home a debilitating anxiety set in. Robert and I were both having difficulties with breastfeeding. I had no idea what I was doing and didn’t listen to my intuition. My poor baby’s tummy was rumbling all the time and I didn’t know what to do and didn’t know that I wasn’t getting him enough food. I have no idea whose brilliant idea it was to not have a mothers milk come in for 3-5+ days after birth. We came home from the hospital on a Friday and thankfully we had an appt at the hospital on Sunday to check on him. Thankfully Similac formula had sent us some samples of premade formula so we gave him an ounce at one point.

When we got to the hospital they weighed him and he had lost almost an entire pound since birth. I could not stop myself from crying in that appointment thinking I had been starving my sweet baby boy. They said it was ok and he was fine but that we were going to start a 3 step program where ever 3 hours on the dot I try and feed him from each boob for at least 10 min, then pump for 20 min and feed him formula and anything colostrum that would come out when I pumped. Thankfully pretty quickly he started gaining weight again and my milk came in. We did supplement for awhile with formula and I am ok with that.

The anxiety though meant that even though my mom was here to help I barely slept, afraid that my baby would need me and I wouldn’t be there. Even though he was gaining weight we were having serious breastfeeding issues and he would just scream because he wasn’t getting anything and i was having trouble getting him to latch and I would just cry and cry. I went to a breast feeding support group at the hospital and that made all the difference in the breast feeding area. By his 2 week appt we were able to start dialing back the 3 step program because he was gaining weight well.

But overall at this point the anxiety was so bad I could barely eat and sleep. I was taking melatonin to try and get myself to nap which of course just made me more tired when I had to get up and stay up in the middle of the night. I was sick to my stomach and lost almost all of my pregnancy weight in those first 2 weeks, and no I was not trying to lose weight. After the baby’s 2 week appointment I went to my Dr. and asked for help, I knew I was in an unhealthy place and honestly I was hating motherhood. I loved my baby and thankfully the depression and anxiety didn’t manifest in a way that made me wand to hurt myself or my baby but I honestly regretted having a baby at that point.

My Dr. and I talked and decided medication would be a good option for me. I started it that night. The pharmacist warned me that the first week was going to be rough and he was right. The meds made me sick. There was one morning I was breastfeeding, sick to my stomach but forcing a banana down to get some calories in me and then I puked it up while feeding the baby.

After a few weeks the meds fully started to kick in and I was able to eat and sleep (when allowed by the baby hahahaha) and things started to get so much better. I bought a newborn sleep program and learned about babies habits and things really started to turn around. My mom stayed until I was 5 weeks post partum and was doing a lot better.

I am now 14 weeks post partum and we are doing so much better. Most nights the baby sleeps from 8:30pm-7am with one feeding around 10:30 to top him off for the night. Not every night, things do happen but, overall the sleep is great. I have a pretty good routine with him during the day and overall we are good.

I am definitely not perfect though, there are still days and times that I get frustrated or am tired but overall I am loving being a mom. When he smiles at me it is the most amazing thing ever and I am so excited to watch him grow up and see the little man he is going to be.

This weekend I worked my first 2 shifts since giving birth. My husband and I decided I would not go back to work full time right now. Daycare would cost more than I made however, with the job that I had I have the option to pick up a shift here and there when they need the coverage. So, this weekend I worked for the first time since I left for maternity leave. It was actually really nice! It was nice to get a little break from parenting and be able to interact with adults. Also, I think it was nice for my husband to get to spend so much uninterrupted time with his son. The only downside was pumping at work. I had to pump at every break which means no going out for a walk or going to get lunch. I had to make sure I had everything I needed. But overall it was nice and I will enjoy picking up a shift here and there……and of course the money doesn’t hurt.

Monday went pretty well. I got a workout in and my buddy joined me outside for some quick planting of leek starts. I still have a few more to do cause he started getting fussy.

Made some delicious sheet pan chicken. I love sheet pan meals, so simple and easy. Chicken, brussel sprouts, shallots, garlic and potatoes with maple syrup, rosemary, salt, pepper and butter.

Tuesday I did my Barre Blend workout and got a shower in! Winning!!

I got carrot seeds planted while the baby napped and made another sheet pan dinner. Chicken marinated overnight in wine and pesto sauce with shallots, potatoes and green beans.

The baby has had a pretty bad rash on his cheeks and shoulders for a few weeks and nothing I was doing was helping so we went to the Dr on Thursday and he said he thinks its severe eczema. We are doing over the counter hydrocortisone cream once a day and baby eucerin for eczema during the day and this mommy is going to try and eliminate as much dairy and gluten from her diet as possible to see if that helps. I guess eczema is usually a reaction to an allergy.

We’ve had a few really nice days so I have put the chickens out in their run three times this week to start getting them used to the outside world slowly.

Overall it was a good week. Baby Robert was a little more tired and cuddly yesterday so I didn’t get much done but the rest of the week was pretty productive.

Robert was due December 21, 2020 but did not come on that day.

My mother came into town on a Thursday about a week and a half before he was due to hang out and help us finish getting ready. I was having very spread out very slowly increasing contractions for a few weeks before his birth. My last non-stress test the aid asked if I was feeling the contractions because she could see them on the sheet of paper.

The Tuesday after my mom came into town the contractions were continuing to increase and my ankles were a bit swollen. I tired elevating my feet and went to sleep like normal that night to see if the swelling was less in the morning but it was not. I had not had any issues with swelling or high blood pressure up to this point but my Dr. didn’t want me to go past my due date because of the unknown effects of covid. When the swelling hadn’t gone down I emailed my Dr. offices the next day, Wednesday, to ask them what I should do. They called me back pretty quickly and told me to head to labor and delivery to get checked out to be safe.

My husband was in the middle of a virtual meeting so as soon as he was done we headed to the hospital.

They hooked me up to some monitors and started watching the baby. While this was going on my contractions started increasing a bit and my blood pressure was slightly elevated. I was not effaced or dilated but the baby had dropped so with the knowledge that my due date was right around the corner and my Dr. would induce if I went past it anyways and I had mild preeclampsia systems the Dr. on call and I decided to proceed with induction.

They inserted Cerdivil in my to get the process started at about 2pm. Cervidil works for about 12 hours to help dilate the cervix. At just after 8pm, six hours after I had gotten the Cervidil I got up to use the restroom and my water broke.

My contractions had already started picking up and now they started to intensify. Around 10-11pm I started getting IV pain meds just over every hour until about 330-4am when I was 3 or 4 cm dilated and able to get an epidural. Silly me thought, yay I’ll finally be able to sleep. Getting the epidural was cake for me and it was instant relief. I was so ready to sleep but the baby had other ideas. My husband got to sleep while I had to switch sides every 20 mins because the babies heart rate kept dropping. It would drop, we would reposition, it would be fine for a few mins and I would start to drift off then his heartrate would drop again and I would have to move.

Around shift change at 7am they checked me and i had come from 4cm to 8cm and we learned I could have a second support person so we texted my mom to get her butt to the hospital. Around 7:30am the nurse helped me sit up with my feet under me because I was sick of laying down and within a few minutes my 2nd bag of waters started to make its way out which was the weirdest feeling ever.

My mom made it to the room by about 8am. The pain started to make its way through the epidural and the contractions started to come closer and closer and become more intense. There was a point where even my mom commented that I had like a 10 min contraction. A little before 11am I was fully effaced but had a small cervical lip that wasn’t disappearing so I couldn’t push just yet. It didn’t take long before my body was starting to push on it’s own, my mom called the nurse and told her I couldn’t stop my body from pushing, she checked me again and I was ready to push! The Dr. came in and we started pushing! I pushed for just over an hour and Robert was born! He was happy and healthy so they put him right on me……and he proceeded to poop all over both of us hahahahahaha!!! The hospital I gave birth in was very mama baby centered so we had 2 hours of skin to skin contact immediately after birth, delayed cord clamping, encouraged breast feeding. It was wonderful and they were very supportive, aside from the pain it was nothing short of a great experience.

We ordered lunch pretty quickly hahaha and within a few hours we were moved to our post birth room where we were going to stay overnight. We were able to leave the next day around 1pm. From getting to the hospital until we left I think I slept about 2-3 hours total in the 3 days.

Those first few weeks at home were ROUGH!!! I will talk about that in the post partum blog coming up.