Since I’ve been gone

So last week and the beginning of this week were rough for me. I have battled depression and mood highs and lows since i was 16. I have seen therapists and physiologists. I have been a bindge drinker, bindge eater and cutter. Thankfully after my dad died my mom and brother found me a great Dr who didn’t just prescribe meds but took the time to work through my, at the time current, issues and teach me tools to pull myself out of that dark place when i went there. He knew it would be a lifelong battle for me and probably saved my life. Before him i was headed down a bad path. I have never been and will never be ashamed of past or of the fact that i deal with this. Feeling the extreme lows also means I get to feel the extreme highs, I get to love deeper and more often then most people becuase I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Yes it can be difficult and painful but it can also be joyous and wonderous. I will have an adventure filled life, the battle is simply to do it on a healthy way which is why i am so passionate about eating healthy and being active. 

That being said lets catch up. 

My sweet coworker got me flowers and candy to cheer me up om the anniversary of my dads death

Friday Artemis and I got up with the sun and went for the shortest run ever lol

I wasnt super happy about getting out of bed lol

Friday night we went to the vet, Artemis had to get her shots. Shes up to date and protected now!

Then we relaxed to make sure she didnt have any reactions

Saturday we pretty much just relaxed and she slept a lot. Recovering from the shots

I caught this wonderful picture when she yawned

Saturday night/Sunday morning i hit rock bottom and took a nap after only being awake an hour then layed in bed and cried. I made myself get out of bed and go for a walk with Artemis 

We went 3 miles. And i reached out to family and friends to keep an eye on me for self-destructive behavior. 

After the walk i went grocery shopping and did meal prep

I love to cook so this helped my mood a lot. 

Each day i am climbing out of the dark. Today was a good day and i am almost back to normal! Thankfully these lows only happen 2-3 times a year depending on the year sometimes even less. 

Went for a walk with the roommate tonight 

And my cowoker finished a really interesting book and gave it to me to ready. Only on the 2md chapter and im hooked! Can’t wait to keeo reading

Thats it for me!!

If anyone ever suffers from suicidal thoughts or self-destructive behavior or severe depression please reach out to someone. You are not alone, i know it feels like you are, but you are not. 

Autumn Equinox


Happy Autumn Equinox!!!!! Today we have the same amount of light and dark, perfect balance.


Today is also the 2nd harvest festival of the year!



We are entering my FAVORITE time of year!! I love coats and sweaters and scarves and boots and gloves. and oooooh the food!!!!!!! Gotta keep that excercise up because i plan on indulging!!!!


Does this not look amazing!!! Click on the link for the recipe.


I want these, pumpkin cookes. Follow the link for the recipe


I dont even like pecans but i want these!!! Follow the link for the reciepe.

3a418cded1b031ae32c87d418423fd18 from pintrest

I am so excited for cooler days!!!!!




I brought my rumning clothes to run at lunch again. By the time i hit a 1/2 mile i knew this was going to suck. My left calf was soooo tight. It hurt!!!

I stopped a few times to stretch it out

At least there are some pretty places around work to run

I pushed and made it to 3 miles. I walked at least 1/3 of the 3 miles

After work i took miss Artemis for a walk

She hasn’t been getting out as much since i have been running at lunch and busy after work. 

After the walk i met my friend at the gym for an easy 30 min strength session. We were both sore so we took it semi-easy.

When i got home from the gym my roommate and i cleaned up the living room. I’ll post picks soon. 

I found my tablet and got it charged so the studying os back on!!

Another accomplished day. And now it is sleep time. Sweet Dreams All!!!

Weekend Wrapup 

Friday i wanted a light healthy lunch so i got salad rolls from a place near work 

And since it was payday i also enjoyed some Starburks 

Saturday my cousin was in town and we went on a little hike. 

This is us Pre-hike 

It was pouring rain so i left my phone in the car.  I pulled a few images from Wikipedia to show you a little of our hike. It was beautiful 

After the hike we looked like drowned rats lol

We did 5 miles with something like 1600ft elevation gain. It was a little tough but awesome.  

The rest of my day was spent enjoying a movie marathon with the pups. 

Today was meal prep, making dog food, doing laundry and dishes. 

Slow cooker dog food (before it was cooked)

I actually really enjoy meal prep 

I remade a meal that i had gotton from helloe fresh a few months ago

And decided to make chicken enchiladas 

All assembled before i put them in the oven

My pan seared chicken

I used broccoli instead of broccolirabb because my local safeway didn’t have it. 

The presentation isn’t super pretty but the enchiladas, rice and beans taste great lol. 

The rest of the day was cuddling with the dogs. 

Wednesday is the anniversary of my dads death and i am already having an emotional time of it. We’ll see how this week turns out. 

I miss him so much. 

I love you daddy. 

50’s housewife night

I was supposed to head to the gym tonight but my training partner called it off so i got to cleaning and got almost the entire kitchen organized

Got the counters cleaned

Today was sweets day at work

I balanced it by having a healthy lunch of homemade turkey and veggie soup

Tonight i also got fresh sheets on my bed and im going to pin curl my hair tonight. 

Overall i feel like i had a very productive night. I love nights like this where i get a lot of stuff done. 

Wednesday wonderings

Happy Hump Day!!!! 

Well my run at lunch didnt happen. I went to the bathroom to change and low and behold i had forgotten a sports bra, now I have DDs so a sports bra is a must. So there was a change of plan, i sat back down at my desk and proceeded to spill my lunch  (chili) on my pants. 

After eating i went out to my car, rolled my windows down, laid my seat back and listened to a book on tape for 30 min. It was soooo beautiful i didnt want to go back into work, but i did. Sometimes it sucks to be an adult lol. 

Anyways i came home and changed to go out for my 3rd attempt at a run today

It was perfect weather outside

There is a nice little path not too far from my house

Check out all the cookies in my cookies and creme protien powder

Then it was dinner time, i am in between paychecks so that means im broke and living off leftovers and things i already had in the freezer/pantry. Tonight was a feeezer meal

Fish fillets and onion rings. 

Tomorrows lunch is leftover turkey and veggie stew that i froze a few months ago. Thankfully i made a vat of it lol. 

While dinner was cooking and after i got some chores done around the house so i am going to fall asleep tonight feelijg very accomplished lol

How was your Wednesday?

Does anyone else scrape by with odds and ends to eat until payday?