TMI running post

Fair warning: this contains bathroom content.

I thought about not posting about this being that it’s bathroom stuff, but then I thought: everybody excreats their waste and I’m gonna be a nurse so this shouldn’t be the taboo subject it is. Also I feel like runners will relate……and it’s funny in a horrible way.

I went out for a run a few days ago, I’ve been slowing upping my mileage but have been staying pretty close to home so I can cut the run short if I am not feeling it that day. This day I decided to go farther from home so I couldn’t cut it short.

At 1.5 miles I took the turn away from home instead of toward it…….a few minutes later I felt a twinge in my stomach. I slowed down and it went away. After it had gone away I picked up my pace again and by about 1.8 miles…..wham!!!! I doubled over my gits wrenching, it felt like my intestines were being squeezed.

(This is my uncomfortable face)

This was one of those times where it wasn’t if I was going to need a bathroom but when and how long I could hold it. I barely kept walking until the cramps went away then I walked a little more. At this rate I would never make it home in time, so I set interval timers on my watch to run 30 seconds then walk 30 seconds and so on.

Sometimes I had to walk longer than 30 seconds while cramps overtook me.

When I was about .4 miles from home the cramps hit worse than ever and I seriously questioned if I could make it home in time. I danced around at the intersection waiting for the light to turn praying to not have an accident.

I got to my street and kept the 30/30 interval going until I could see my house. I figured worse case scenario I could let my dog off the leash and race her home, even if I couldn’t make it I’d be pretty much home…..then I got closer to home and saw the long line of cars and all the people…..school has just let out, I couldn’t make a break for it because there were kids and cars everywhere……

I was about .2 miles from home when the worst wave of cramps hit

I actually had to knee down to the ground under the pretense of petting my dog to try and not die right there. It passed, I got up and made it in the house by about 2 seconds, I have never run for the bathroom so fast.

I think at some point all runners go through this at least once, though I would bet more than that in their life.

I am so thankful I made it home and didn’t go the way of Charlotte and Poughkeepsie in my pants, in front of like 200 people none the less.

Has this ever happened to you?